Rewriting Spam

Angie sent me the following email message. It looks like spam. Why can't spam be more easily understood? The second version is my rewrite. --------- Forwarded message ---------- From: SARTORI Date: Sep 6, 2006 11:38 PM Subject: PLEASE I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE KINDLY HELP! FOR THE WORK OF GOD. I do not intend to baised your feeling as you read this mail thereby making you feel so pathetic about my situation, because i believe that every human being has his or her destiny to fulfil on this earth before passing to the great beyond,owning to this i was compell to accept christ as my saviour, having known the truth,I had no choice than to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of God?s mercy and glory upon my life. My name is Hellfried Sartori a citizen of Thailand based in Holland a successful business man formally married to mrs Trisha Sartori who died two years ago after a brief illness without a child. For over a year now i have been in the hospital battling with a chronic heart disease which has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts,this illment has detoriated my health to this point that i have finally lost my voice making me unable to talk any more.Although i have not particularly lived a generous life as i never cared for anybody except for myself and my late wife i was always hostile to people and only focused on my business But now i regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate family members,I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the funds to a charity organization and orphanages but they instead kept the money to themselves for this reason i do not trust them any more as they seems not to be contended with what i have given to them. Now the last of my money which i deposited in cash in a consignment form twelve million dollars($12m) with security firm abroad, Recently the security firm wrote me to come forward to sign for the release of this money or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf as time agreed for the consignment to be in their custody has expired,since i do have much time to live on this earth and i want this to be the last good deed i that i have done on this earth before passing on,based on this reason i am pleading to you in name of God to help me Stand and collect the Funds from the security firm which my attorney will guide and provide you with all the neccessary informations inorder to collect the funds and use it for the work of God(charities,churches and orphanages) while you keep $1.5m.for yourself for your time. I await your quick kindest response with your name,telephone and fax numbers so that i can have my attorney contact you directly inorder to furnish you with more informations on how the mission will be carried out.i wish to assure you that there is no risk of whatsoever involved in this mission as my attorney will provide you with all the legal documents inorder to back up the funds. please send your response to my private E-mail: hellsartorihea@yahoo.de Thank you and remain blessed. Yours faithfully Hellfried Sartori --------------------------------------------- Dear Sir/Madam, I believe every human being has his or her destiny to fulfil on this earth before passing to the great beyond. Having accepted Christ as my saviour, and having known the truth, I have no choice but to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God to receive eternal life, and also in the sight of man to witness to God's mercy and glory upon my life. Consequently, I don't wish for you to feel pathetic about my situation. My name is Hellfried Sartori, a citizen of Thailand who's currently based in Holland. I'm a successful businessman married to Mrs Trisha Sartori who died two years ago after a brief illness without a child. For over a year, I have been in the hospital battling a chronic heart disease, which has defiled all forms of medical treatment. Right now, I have only about a few months to live. According to medical experts, this illness has detoriated my health to the point that I have lost my voice making me unable to talk any more. I have not particularly lived a generous life as I never cared for anybody except for myself and my late wife. I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business. But I regret all this as now as I know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate family members. I have asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the funds to charity organizations and orphanages, but they kept the money for themselves instead. For this reason I do not trust them any more as they seem not to be contented with what I have given to them. Thereafter, I deposited the last of my money, twelve million dollars($12m) in cash, with a security firm abroad. Recently the security firm wrote me to come forward to sign for the release of this money. They would also accept a letter of authorization for somebody to receive it on my behalf. The time agreed for the consignment to be in their custody has expired, and since I do have much time to live on this Earth and I want this to be the last good deed that I'll do before passing on, I am pleading with you in the name of God to help me collect the funds from the security firm. My attorney will guide and provide you with all the necessary information in order to collect the funds and use it for the work of God (charities, churches and orphanages) while you keep $1.5m for yourself, to compensate you for all your troubles. I await your prompt response. Please send me your name, telephone and fax numbers so that I can have my attorney contact you directly in order to furnish you with more information on how the mission will be carried out. I wish to assure you that there is no risk whatsoever involved in this mission as my attorney will provide you with all the legal documents in order to collect the funds. Please send your response to my private E-mail: hellsartorihse@yahoo.de . Thank you and may you remain blessed. Yours faithfully, Hellfried Sartori