Thursday, January 27, 2005

A great way to fly!

So I got this in the mail today.
From: "KrisFlyer" To: Subject: Closure of KrisFlyer Account Date: 20 Jan 2005 14:31:42 +0800 Dear Mr Yen, We realise that we have inadvertently sent you a very brief email recently informing you that your account has been closed. KrisFlyer account number 8002269799 for Yen Jeffery has indeed expired as there has been no record of transactions in this account in recent months. We are also aware that there are other accounts that have your same email address and we like to confirm that these accounts are still active. Unfortunately, however, through an error on our part, we sent the earlier email to you, in its draft form, before we had completed it. We are mortified as the email appears extremely curt and dismissive. Please accept our sincere apologies for the confusion and unhappiness the unintended email must have caused you. If there is anything else that we can assist you with, please contact us at KrisFlyer Membership Services. Yours sincerely, Ms Yap Aye Wee Manager Loyalty Marketing
And I decided to write back.
Dear Ms. Yap, Thanks for writing, your forthrightness is indeed commendable; apologies accepted. Unfortunately, I did not receive the said email from your department. If you can be so kind as to forward me the mail again, that'll be great. I've never received a curt, dismissive, and draft reply from SIA before, and now that you've made me curious, I'd sure like to see one! Thanks! Sincerely, jeff


JulAngel said...

Oh man.. you must be bored!
But hey a loyalty marketing manager sounds alright to me.. heheh.. could be something interesting going on here...
I wanna knw of any new emails from her.. man I'm so "8" (nosey) hahah

Ali said...

Hey, I want to know her reply too! Hehe...

I'm also nosy!

jeffyen said...

Your message
Subject: Re: Closure of KrisFlyer Account
was not delivered to:
User sia_feedback ( not listed in public Name & Address Book
Well, the email bounced. I re-sent it to another email address found embedded in the first email, but I'm not hopeful of getting a response.

But I guess it's not difficult to imagine what the original email might have said LOL!

Dear Jeff,
You are pathetic, you know that? Remember the Frequent Flyer card I sent you five years ago, huh?! Well, I STILL remember it well! Yours was one of the two hundred I had to slot into envelopes that day. *I* did all the dirty work, and what did you do in response?

NOTHING! Not a single... damn... booking... on Singapore Airlines in the five years of getting that Frequent Flyer card! And you call yourself a Singaporean? Why don't you become an Australian since you like kangaroos and Qantas so much?! Bah! Customers like you make me want to hurl airline seats.

No.... you're not a customer. You are just one of those stingy Scrooges who steal the plastic forks and spoons on the planes. I can understand it if you steal the pretty metal ones years ago. But plastic ones?! Curses to you. You are not worth the cheap plastic card I sent you. Heck! I think you're not even worth the free inflight magazines that contain all the pretty print ads of our airline.

Have you even remotely even noticed our print ads? Don't tell me that after decades of using a sexy woman to promote our airline, you still prefer to fly other airlines? What on earth is wrong with you, huh?! Haven't you heard our marketing slogan, Singapore Girl, A Great Way To Fly? Where have you been all these years? Mars?

Seriously, you're an abomination; one of those in our small group of our Frequent Flyer members who AREN'T even frequent flyers. Do you even realise the humongous irony here? You are a waste of my time.

All my and my department's efforts on securing loyalty has been wasted. Do you know we had to come out with those silly Frequent Flyers newsletters? Do you know how hard we had to spin the special offers to make it look good? Do you not understand that what we only want is a little L-O-Y-A-L-T-Y on your part? Is that too much too ask? You embarrass me, and my team.

And for that, you will be punished. PERSONA NON GRATA. That's Latin for 'screw you'! We're cancelling your account. I don't see no point in maintaining it. So goodbye, and happy flying. But not with us. Not with Singapore Air, the airline of your country, and the only airline that employs The Singapore Girl. Go fly with your kangaroos, I think they like you. Bah!

Singapore Airlines
Loyalty Marketing Department

Andre said...